Now and Forever

I stand out along the bluffs and the ocean beats across the rocks; in out in out in. The heartbeat of the earth. I feel her again, the waves pounding her memory into my head. The ocean beats its rhythm over and over, pulling me in. I fall, tumbling down to the rocks below. The journey down is a span of lifetimes as I am born again and again; in out in out in. I see the ocean’s foam. I see myself rising out like a god. I am eternal. We are all eternal. My head hits the rocks and my memories spill out, joining with the sea. 

Her crooked smile. 
Making breakfast. 
Watching her walk out the door. 
A woman begging for spare change.
A dog without someone to hold his leash.
A funeral of somebody I used to know.
My parents arguing before the car hits us.
Our wedding day that would never be, a fragment of a dream.
The other man.
My first bicycle.
Realizing that she is the only one that I could ever possibly love, without knowing how I could love her.
Watching the news detail their plane crash "an unfortunate accident."

I snap back to reality. My foot is hanging over the edge, poised between now and forever as the world holds its breath. I step away from the bluffs and the ocean beats across the rocks; in out in out in.

Comments

  1. Weirdnay SeeOctober 23, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    "I see the ocean’s foam. I see myself rising out like a god. I am eternal. We are all eternal. My head hits the rocks and my memories spill out, joining with the sea. "

    Rising out of what? The foam or the sea? Are you invoking the image of Aphrodite as she was born from the sea foam and Uranus's testicles? If so, the speaker equates himself (I assume) with Aphrodite, the female goddess of, if not love (Eros) at least sexuality and passion. That's fair enough. On the literal level, I'm understanding this to be a grieving lover contemplating suicide by jumping off a cliff into the sea after his lover/girlfriend/fiance dies in a plane crash.

    The images you invoke in the center are powerful and tinged with their own connotations, but some of them don't seem to be relevant to the narrative being described. What does a beggar woman and a lone dog, or the car crash and the funeral "of somebody I used to know" (which brings up the song, by the way - if you don't want that I'd recommend changing it) have to do with the speaker's bereavement and pending decision?

    In the end the speaker decides not to jump, meaning the beginning was imagined, and perhaps the middle was a series of memory images, with the two providing the context for the last few lines and the enormity of the decision, which is followed through very simply.

    That's my general take. As far as criticism, aside from the few points I've already said, I would suggest some punctuation between "in out in out in" because as it reads now it's far too quick. A comma, at least, would space it out a bit if you're unwilling to go as far as a full stop (period).

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